Often, when a married couple splits up, each party blames the other for the marriage failing. The National Institutes of Health published insightful research on their website highlighting various key issues related to blame and the divorce process. According to the study, a majority of participants assigned blame to their ex (over an affair, intimate partner violence or substance abuse) and most did not confess to carrying out such behaviors themselves.
As a result, many people blame their ex without taking a look at their own actions that played a role in the marriage falling apart. It is important to approach divorce with a clear understanding of relevant matters, especially since these issues can affect custody decisions and other critical family law topics.
Blame, anger and ending your marriage
The study referenced by the NCBI also notes that most participants believed their former partner failed to put in enough effort to save the marriage. Many people are very angry with their former partner and place all of the blame on their ex. In some instances, this is a valid feeling, but it is important to prevent anger from interfering with your divorce. Sometimes, very strong emotions prevent people from focusing on critical legal issues such as property division and custody.
Self-blame and divorce
While many people refuse to admit wrongdoing or take responsibility for their actions during the course of a failed marriage, some blame themselves (wrongly, in some instances). For example, some people think they are fully responsible for the marriage falling apart and become depressed or develop an anxiety disorder.