Divorced couples in Virginia must see eye to eye when it comes to child-rearing topics. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Even with shared custody, one parent may constantly undermine the other, thereby making the parenting process needlessly difficult. If you find yourself faced with a difficult ex, Medium offers the following advice.
Despite how you feel about your former partner and what caused the demise of your marriage, you must treat each other with respect when children are involved. Speaking ill of the other parent in front of the kids often has a very detrimental effect, as kids are likely to take these words to heart. This can be a tough topic to broach, but it is best if you sit down with your ex and have a serious discussion about respect. Explain that for your kids to have a loving and healthy relationship with both parents, mutual respect must be in place.
In the same token, your ex might blame you for issues occurring to your child. This can range from illness to poor school performance, and it is very likely that many of these issues are outside of your control. This behavior may stem from resentment about the marriage, so it is important to take accusations with a grain of salt if you know you are a fit parent. Instead of getting angry, look at it as a problem to be fixed together and ask your ex for his or her input on a solution.
Your ex may also make parenting decisions alone despite the shared custody order. This can be a serious issue, especially if these decisions relate to things like health care and education. In this case, it is best to get your legal team involved. Your ex must follow custody orders, and you share legal custody that means you both have an equal say in decisions that affect your kids. You can request the court modifies the custody arrangement if you feel that your authority is being undermined.